Publican!

Holy Edibles, Batman! My friends and I just ate the meal of a lifetime at the Publican, and by meal I don't mean the kind of meal mu former roommate FFDM dropped back in the late nineties. Close you eyes and take the time to picture this, brought to my table by a large, four-eyed spectacled server:

1) Spicy pork rinds: Crispy, crunchy spicy pork rinds with a flavorful white meat crunch. The ultimate. fluffy, tangy Funyon. The best fuckin' Funyon I have ever had!

2) Picture if you can, a savory meat platter filled with melt in your mouth salty ham products. Yes, meat so soft and savory that is actually disintegrates without your consent. Like Eric Roberts himself entered your oral cavity. Yes, I wrote it and your read it. Swinerrific hams!!!!

3) Oysters from both the east and west coast of civilization. West coast, as suspected beats the shit out of east coast, Fuck you Puffy.

4) Snapper Full snapper, partially-filleted table side. Tasty as shit and straight up yummy! Flaky and good size celery.

5) Octopus. Those slimy fucks are vain as shit and it makes sense why. When grilled right, they're soft, chewy, delectable goodness. Soft, charry, delicious.

6) Give it up for the veg. Arrugala rapes broccoli and yes, you get rappini..and it's worth it. Beyond that, shaved brussel sprouts with goat's cheese and lemon curd. A sour-infused orgy. Take that, wifey!! The 22nd century coleslaw. The modern man's side dish.

7) And for the piece de resistance: PORCHETTA!! A widing pork chuck as big as my fat one, La Chance. Pork belly wrapped around a pork loin. Yep, as good as it sounds.

8)For Dessert, the works: Banana Cake, Crispy Waffle, and Sugar-Rimmed Doughnuts...All totally worth it. P.S. Prefer the blueberry jam on the waffle.

Take care my friends,

Eat me.